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| Kids and Custody and how it affects grandparents |
By:
David B Smith 
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Unfortunately the difficulty caused by the failure of a marriage is never restricted to only two people.
We all appreciate nowadays that while husband and wife may be distressed enormously, their kids are probably struggling most of all, and the more the parents ache, the greater is the pressure on their little ones.
Often unnoticed in this cycle of destruction though are the grandparents. They too have their bond with their grandchildren threatened by the a divorce or relationship breakdown, and in their case it can be both a practical adversity and a legal impediment to maintain the relationship!
The end of the connection between dad and mom should not need to mean the end of the grandparent's marriage with their grandchild. In fact, with the occasional exception of cases where the grandparent relationship is being exploited by one of the parents for their own benefit, it is always going to be in the greater interest of the children for them to be able to continue their other significant associations, like that unique relationship with grandpa and grandma.
as elsewhere in the US, it is not normally a legal alternative for a biological or adoptive grandparent to file for custody of their grandchildren, as the family court upholds that the best interest of the kids are normally served by maximizing contact with their parents, providing that they have shown themselves keen to serve the child's best interests.
There are certainly exceptions to this rule, and in cases where there is testimony to suggest that the young person is at risk of parental abuse, the grandparents can take initiative and file a suit, suing for custody! This is not the standard practice of course, even in drastic situations, as regularly it is the court itself that takes the initiative in bringing in the grandparents.
Indeed, if mum and dad fail to show themselves accountable enough to manage custody of the little ones, the grandparents are generally the first persons approached by the court for custody. Otherwise, the court has to look to other relations as potential legal custodians, especially where the parents of a child are deceased or in jail.
These are of course the extreme options - where grandparents are either taking custody of their grandchildren or are kept out of their lives altogether! In the greater number of cases, the grandparents just have to go through similar struggles to those of the non-custodial parent - battling to organise access times that fit in with the new situation, while at the same time giving first place to their grandchildren's struggling parents!
The judge can of course order that a grandparent obtain reasonable possession or access to a grandchild, but they will largely leave these arrangements to be worked out privately with the parents.
Ultimately a grandparent is in a one-of-a-kind position to assist the grandchild through a difficult time and the parents need to know this.
Indeed, grandma and grandpa should work hard during a time of family break up to make themselves accessible to their children and children's kids, while of course remaining careful to steer clear of taking sides and letting their frustration overflow on to any of the children!
Ideally the time the little ones spend with the grandparents will be time to rest and recover from the complications of their lives.
For more information on Custody battles and the place of grandparents
http://www.texaschild-custody.com/custody-rights-of-grandparents.php?maxi |
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